Dear Heidi,

You just turned 23 last week. Right now, you are probably sitting at a Starbucks in La Jolla where you currently live, sipping on your second refill of iced coffee with too much sugar and too much half & half. Starbucks doesn’t exist anymore, by the way, it was overrun by the revolution of hipster coffee shops that grow, pick and roast their own organic beans in shop. Oil, clean water and vegetation in general are a luxury now, so cherish that while it still exists. Steward creation well.

You are 4 months shy of your wedding, and you are feeling the overwhelming fear of uncertainty and instability in life. Don’t worry, you will discover peace in the midst of all of this, and it will all be worth it in a few years. All the shit and fear you are enduring is truly sharpening you, teaching you to cling onto the Father with all your strength, and your faith is growing. Perfect Love drives out fear. You are learning how to trust God, and He is infinitely loving and gracious to strip you of your pride right now. It’s super painful and vulnerable, but like I said, it’ll be worth it. Pride is a quiet and metastatic cancer that you didn’t know you had until this season. Embrace this pain like heart surgery. You will get out of this stronger and more in love with God.

Get off Facebook and read more. Comparison is not going to get you anywhere, and it will certainly rot your heart, spirit and relationships. You know that people only show their highlights on social media (you do it too), so stop comparing your valleys to everyone’s mountaintops.

I know you are worrying also about making the wrong decision regarding your career, or being a bad wife to Daniel, but worrying will not do anything for you. “Who by worrying will add another hour to their life?...Instead seek first His kingdom and righteousness, and all will be given to you as well…” . Remember that you can’t foil or fail in God’s plan for your life. Your only purpose is to become more like Him. Don’t be afraid to love people with all of your heart. You don’t have to be afraid of others hurting you or abandoning you anymore.

And don’t let money restrict you. Money is a resource, not your god. It will not provide you stability or security. Count these financial hardships as a blessing, as they keep you sober-minded, humble and provide clear vision of where your security is indefinitely.

Build healthy habits now: keep eating well and integrating exercise into your schedule, so that it becomes natural. Make it a priority to take care of the body Papa has gifted you with. Many others do not have that ability to run, jump or swim. Don’t forgo eating just because you want a quick fix to be skinnier. It isn’t healthy, nor is it good for your spirit. You are beautiful, Heidi. At your age right now, and even 10 years from now, 20, 30, 70 years. Physical beauty will inevitably tarnish and fade, but your heart and spirit will be eternally radiant.

Remember where your priorities are.

Finally back to wedding planning and the future. Give Pinterest a break sometimes. It’s okay that your wedding won’t be catalogue-perfect. Who in their right mind will spend that much money on ONE day. Don’t let websites or magazines or even other friends’ weddings dictate how you want yours to turn out. It will be amazing and unique, just like your relationship with Daniel. You are blessed, even when you can’t see it. Be grateful always, you are so loved.

Sincerely,

Future Heidi